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DC Ban On Pizza Slices To Fight Crime

mcgruffA Washington, DC councilman is drafting legislation that would ban the late-night sale of single slices of pizza as a way to combat crime.

Democrat Party councilman Jim Graham says the late-night “Jumbo Slice” pizza shacks operating on the popular Adams Morgan club and bar strip in Ward 1 attract the element that is likely to commit crime.

“Even though it’s a legal business and everything, they have become a nuisance,” Graham said. “Behaving the way they do in terms of music, in terms of letting people hang out and also in terms of tolerating a certain level of violence.”

DC councilman Jim Graham

DC councilman Jim Graham

Graham also blames dead-end streets for violent crime in DC, and has funneled tax dollars into fighting this unruly menace to society.

While a recent hidden camera exposé done by WJLA-TV showed a recent fight that started just outside a pizza joint, its owner feels his business is being unfairly targeted. “We are taxpayers also,” said pizza joint manager Abdul Souada. “Our business is the same as bar business, as the club business, as the other restaurants next door.”

Residents and party-goers scoffed at Councilman Graham’s proposed legislation, which reportedly has the backing of the mayor. “The crowd out here in general is the problem,” said Adams Morgan resident John Sawyko. “The pizza places are a small part of the issue.”

Posted in Leftist Losers.

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14 Responses

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  1. Philoctetes says

    They should ban do-rags in D.C. since all of the criminals wear one.

  2. Spiderbite says

    They should ban bow ties because councilman Jim Graham proves that those that wear bow ties are prone to acts of idiocy as well as douchery.

    This guy is an imbecile. It feels so great to know that he is in a position of power.

  3. righthook says

    I Caucus With Patriots.

  4. Johann says

    I just realized the world is infested with people who had been dropped on their heads as babies – nothing else could explain such insanity.

    And I’ve also figured out why some people wear red berets…

  5. Gauldar says

    I guess councilman Orville Redenbacher doesn’t like people ordering anything “green” on their pizza. There was a coffee shop near me that had a reputation like that, it kept shortening the time it stayed open due to police influence. It attracted night life regulars and I met some interesting people there and had good conversation, but with those people cut out of the profits it shut down.

  6. former DC resident says

    Yeah, Jim, it’s probably the pizza place’s fault. Fighting and crime couldn’t possibly have anything to do with all the drunk and high people stumbling out of the bars up and down the entire street.

  7. kevin says

    Not all us bowtie wearers are like him, it is not the accesory that causes him to have ideotic tendencies it is the man him self.

  8. Endgame says

    I want demographics and crime statistics for the area.

    Nothing will change the core issue here. Anyone with common sense can see what the major problem is in DC. It’s the same problem in Detroit, Newark, Atlanta, and a lot of other major cities with high infestations of the failed ape species.

  9. Bill says

    Correlation does not imply causation.

  10. Aryan says

    So Washington DC is now also starting to look like a typical African Boon Town.

    Fight crime by paying better salaries to city policemen so you can have more of them on the streets you bloody US Communist Party Moron. Don’t blame small businesses.

    All you and your Bolshevik tribal mates need to do is to half your fat pay packages and give up some of your big perks – which are payed for by the ordinary US taxpayers.

    Your kind contribute absolutely nothing to society, you bunch of blood sucking socialist parasites.

  11. Nick says

    If someone kills jumbo slice, jumbo slice will seek a cheesy, greasy, tasty vengeance upon said person.

    I'd like to see the stats on increased hospitalization from people who don't have a cheese-sponge to soak up their booze. Jumbo saved my liver countless times, though at the cost of my waistline

  12. ac says

    Democrat Party councilman Jim Graham is genius, why is he wasting his time being a simple-minded councilman when he can be a congressman jackass.

    What really is impressive is his blaming dead end streets for the violent crime in the District of criminals (DC), especially the Dead end streets that have toco bell restaurants.

    While a recent hidden camera exposé done by WJLA-TV showed a recent fight that started just outside a pizza joint, its owner feels his business is being unfairly targeted. “We are taxpayers also,” said pizza joint manager Abdul Souada.

    Now the manager’s name is one that you could associate with pizza (Italian) along with the designation “pizza joint”!!

    This article cannot be real, this must be a joke.

  13. Mike says

    Is this guy for real?

Continuing the Discussion

  1. Councilman Jim Graham wants to ban pizza to lower crime !! | linked to this post on May 26, 2009

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