Ivan Gottabiggabellie confronts a police officer and orders him to keep out of Wheelabarrabak. Later, Ivan was seen delivering the dead ‘roo to Freddy Walkerlongaway.
Aussie Brian had to make a road trip a couple of weeks ago. I had to farewell an old mate Dave Jolly; he passed away on the 10th of April.
Frankie and me headed off to Taree to say goodbye to Dave, on the way I thought it’d be great to catch up with Freddy Walkerlongaway and see how his McRoo business was going. It seems like Freddy has unintentionally whipped up a storm of controversy. As we stopped along the way in motels, we caught snippets of news describing the brewing trouble. Just north of the outback town of Wheelabarrabak we came across locals remonstrating with police officers.
Front page headline in The Advertiser.
The newspapers and television news programs were running hot with stories about American radio broadcasters The Right Perspective being instigators of the now infamous ‘FrankieGate’ stamp scandal. Named in a parliamentary inquiry was a ‘Frank of Queens’, ‘John of Staten Island’, ‘The Newsguy’, and a ‘Lady Cheryl of New Jersey’. It also linked the stamp scandal, (which showed a dead kangaroo) to the rioting in Wheelabarrabak.
Final draft images of the controversial Frankie stamps.
As we traveled, it seemed support for Champion ‘Roo Hunter Frankie was growing with news commentators saying “At least Frankie is a bona-fide Aussie, not like President Obama, (claiming) to be an American!”
News reporters also left Australia Post and Customs Officials red faced as they showed them ‘final rough commercial’ images of the ‘inverted’ Frankie stamp and the non-flawed version now being widely circulated on the internet.Media reports were showing Australian Government Ministers crossing the floor and voting with Opposition Members in heated debates over the ‘FrankieGate’ stamp scandal. There were unprecedented scenes of verbal abuse witnessed in the public galleries of both Upper and Lower Houses of Parliament in Canberra.
Watching the news in our motel room, Frankie and me laughed as Government Ministers were ducking for cover when questioned over the ‘gone missing’ stamps, lithographic plates and draft copies’. We also saw interviews with philatelic groups in Australia that were outraged about the only existing stamps printed in honor of Frankie’s 2009 World ‘Roo Hunter’s Championship win were headed overseas.
Tensions were further increasing as Australia Post said there were no plans to reprint the stamps. An Australia Post spokesman told reporters at a news conference, “We simply can’t muster sufficient security measures.” The spokesman also cited other reasons about the stamps attracting ‘international philatelic criminal elements’, because of their notoriety.
Freddy’s cousin and manager in Wheelabarrabak, Billy Sittawhile. Billy spends all day cleaning around the McRoo Burger Palace. You can see how proud he is at keeping it ‘spic and span’.
Freddy introduced us to one of his managers, Billy Sittawhile. Billy’s in charge of the McRoo Health and Sanitation Department in Wheelabarrabak. Then it was inside to check out the kitchen, where we met Mary Gunnabeacook and her lovely young daughter Nancy Gunnabeacook. Mary was a bit camera shy because she didn’t have her make up on.
Inside the McRoo Burger Palace’s cooking facility, we saw Mary Gunnabeacook teaching her daughter traditional ‘roo cooking methods.
Mary asked Aussie Brian, “Mary been readin about Frankie, McRoos and philatelics, Mary only use best philatelics for McRooSnag skins.” When I explained to her the difference between philatelic and prophylactic, she looked confused and replied, “No good usin paper on sausages, just fall off.”
As the evening approached, groups of environmental and animal activists started gathering near the McRoo Burger Palace, protesting about cooking kangaroos. It appears the animal activists were incensed as details emerged that Freddy had offered a contract for Frankie to supply ‘roo meat to his string of McRoo Burger Palace franchises. With the sounds of Jerry Lee Lewis singing ‘Great Balls Of Fire’ one of Freddy’s signs read, ‘Why buy Maccas? Try Freddy’s McKnackers!’ An obvious reference to his testicular delicacy, deep fried ‘Crumbed McRooNads’. The protesters started tearing down advertisements for Freddy’s latest gourmet offerings, causing violent confrontations with Wheelabarrabak locals. After the locals had forced the protesters to leave town, Freddy’s supporters then fought pitched battles with Riot Squad Police, attacking them with nulla-nullahs, boomerangs and spears.
Riot Squad Police try to quell irate Freddy supporters in Wheelabarrabak.
Aussie Brian and Frankie retreated to our motel room, where the riots were being shown on television. The program cut to an interview with the Australian Foreign Affairs Minister who was saying, “All this trouble is over an American wanting a stamp with a dumb dog standing on its head.”
As Frankie and me left Wheelabarrabak the next morning, we noticed a pile of McRoo Burgers and McRooNads in the back of our pickup truck. A note from Freddy said Mary Gunnabecook told him I could be her ‘special’ man any time I was passing through. After pondering this offer of racial reconciliation, I thought, “Well, I’m a single guy, and there’s a free feed thrown in …..” A few minutes later I was back at Freddy’s McRoo Burger Palace, “G’day Mary, can you send Nancy out for a while?” She grinned and said, “Mary show Mr. Aussie Brian how she’s real good at handlin Nads.”
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Sorry to hear about your mate, Brian.
Good story – I’m dying to have one of the McRoo burgers, but I haven’t mustered the strength yet for the McRooNads.
OK then, so I didn't miss anything.
It probably just tastes better with "pap" (grits), which explains why Malema can fit a truck-load on his fork. See picture under older posts.
Hey Brian, do they take the Nads with anything (Vegemite), or do they just gobble them down?
I was also thinking – some of our indigenous folk love them chicken feet (although I could never figure out how much meat you get off chicken feet), but if they were to have Roo feet, surely they'll have more to nibble on?
I think Freddy Walkerlongaway might actually have some prospects for exporting the bits he doesn't use…
Don’t worry hey Johann, they taste about the same as South African McBoonNads :-))
G'day Johann, the McRoo Burgers are delicious, and always a surprise package. It depends on how fresh the 'roo carcass is. If you tell Freddy you're a friend of old mate Aussie Brian, he'll throw in some warm cans of beer 'on the house!'
As far as the McRooNads go, they're an acquired taste. Because Freddy leaves the fur on them, some people find that the hairs get stuck between their teeth, or at the back of the throat. That's not a problem though if they're consumed with the traditional six pack of warm beer.
The nutritional value of McRoo Burgers and McRooNads is often understated. If the carcass has a lot of road tar and gravel in it, the roughage provided for the diner does wonders for the digestive tract.
A definite culinary delight and gourmet experience!
How healthy is it? skeptics ask. Look no further than the pictures of Billy Sittawhile, Mary Gunnabeacook and Ivan Gottabiggabellie. And let's not forget Mary's lovely daughter Nancy Gunnabeacook, what a great start to a healthy, vibrant young life she's getting.
G’day Johann, old mate Dave is a champion bloke. A friendship that goes back 40 years. I’ll never talk about him as in the past tense, that’s why he still IS a champion bloke.
I think of him as being far away, still a mate, just can’t get to have a laugh or a beer with him any more.
It’s a harsh world sometimes, seems like too many good people die far to early, whilst many ratbags don’t.
Brian, thought I’d let you know what Freddy’s 4th cousin twice removed has been up to in South Africa, with their “skipping the pot” ceremony.
Check it out:
http://www.therightperspective.org/freddy-walkerlongaways-cousin-skipping-the-pot/